2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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