Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
