We're like a lot better than the average bears
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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