Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
