Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
