i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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