her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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