I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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