Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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