i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
