Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
