haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Dicks are not precious.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
