oh god the rape fog is back!
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
