As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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