so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize