I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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