Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Randomize
