ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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