I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
