So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
