I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
