Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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