ya dads aren't the best wingmen
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
