I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
