you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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