According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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