I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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