all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
