I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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