The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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