My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
