Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
