I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
