Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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