He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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