I want to walk on stilts...naked
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
