I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
