shes about as inviting as chlamydia
apparently the secret to your success is patron
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
