ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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