you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
