i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Can you bring me the toilet please
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
