I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
