two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
