He is an equal opportunity slut.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
