How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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