If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
