Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
