Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
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