she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
