Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Randomize
