i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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