My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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