my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
