i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
